On a Saturday morning in November of 2019, my phone rang. It was my half-sister with whom I rarely communicated. I had a feeling things were about to get interesting. As soon as I said hello, she launched a verbal assault on me, screaming and yelling. This was nothing new, and it was one of the reasons we hadn't spoken in years. She is my 8-year-old younger sister. We share a mother but have different fathers. Due to her drug use and domestic violence issues with her husband, I decided to end my relationship with her (as did my mother and stepfather). I didn't want my children to be exposed to the toxicity in which she chose to live. She went on to say that our stepfather had crashed the car into his house. He was in the hospital, and I needed to get to Missouri right away.
I hung up the phone and called my stepbrother, who had been unaware of what had occurred, and explained that my half-sister was already there and that we needed to get there as soon as possible. We both agreed to leave the following morning.
We met at the hospital as soon as we arrived, and the discussions began. My stepfather was suffering from terminal brain cancer. We were told he only had about 6-8 weeks to live. He wanted us all to accompany him to his attorneys to go over his will and care plans for my mother. Due to years of prescription drug use, my mother was unable to care for herself. My stepfather and I had always planned that after his death, my mother would move to Oklahoma, where my half-sister and I both lived, had families and had careers. That way, she'd be close to both of us.
There had been numerous discussions with him and my mother prior to this. She would need to live somewhere she could be cared for so it would not disrupt my or my family’s life.
Everything changed at that conference table in the attorney's office. What on earth was going on? The will was being completely redone. My half-sister was moving to Missouri and living in their home to be my mother's primary caregiver. WAIT!!! This was not in the plan; this was not in the plan!!!
My stepbrother and I were stunned as we walked out of that office. I was befuddled, disoriented, and numb. I was completely removed from the will. Everything passed to my mother after my stepfather died, with the exception of the 1800-acre family farm, which went to my stepbrother. My half-sister would be granted power of attorney over my mother's medical decisions and financial affairs.
Back at home, I told my stepfather and mother about my concerns. My half-sister pursued me physically. WTH! She wanted me to fight her! This was like something out of a movie. At that point, I realized what was going on: manipulation and bullying at its finest. Someone saw dollar signs and was determined to ensure she received it all.
That day, I left and returned home. The following week, I called the attorney to express my dissatisfaction with what was going on. Of course, it didn't matter to him because I wasn't his client. I called my stepfather and expressed my concerns. I asked him if he understand the situation he was putting me in and what he was doing. "When can you move here?" he said to me. Really? Are you serious? I'm not going to move; I'm not going to be forced to move. This isn't how it works.
I was heartbroken. In January 2020, I attended my stepfather's funeral. Nobody said anything to me. It was as if I didn't exist in that family at all. There were no pictures of me or my children on the family picture board. There was no “I am so sorry for your loss.” I drove home from the funeral and sat in numbness for weeks.
How can the law allow such things to occur? How can a family allow such things to happen? My half-sister and mother never contacted me again. Then one morning in July of this year, I awoke to a FB message from my half-sister informing me that my mother had died, a FB message.
I started looking into things at this point. In May of this year, my half-sister sold my mother's estate and relocated to Oklahoma, WTH!!!!! That's what I wanted us to do originally. Of course, she purchased a nice half-million-dollar lake house for herself.
I began seeking legal counsel and am still waiting for many answers to this day. What happened to my mother? She was only 72 years old. What happened to all of the estate's contents that were sold? Was I a beneficiary of my mother's will? And the list goes on and on.
This weekend, it all came crashing down on me. So much rage and resentment. How could my parents abandon me in such a way? How could they have let this happen? What made my sibling such a jerk and bully?
Then, as the fog lifted and I processed my emotions, I remembered, Greed blinds people. Greed and envy have always blinded my half-sister. It's truly heartbreaking. I'm moving forward with the assurance that God will provide for what I've lost or what was supposed to be mine. It will simply come from a different source, and it will be even better.
Faith and love are stronger than greed and envy
I am hosting a webinar on October 28th at 6:30 pm CDT sharing the process I use to keep my emotions in check. You can register for it Here
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